Things that normally take a while in a healthy relationship will go much faster.
More signs include pathological lying, absolutely zero remorse, having no empathy whatsoever—they are psychologically incapable of doing that.
The rapid warm-up is always a sign of shallow emotions which later cause the Loser to detach from you as quickly as they committed.” Which is exactly what Drew Peterson (and others like him) did after seducing each of his partners. The physical outbursts towards inanimate objects function as a form of intimidation.
As easily as he attached to them initially, he later detached from them to pursue his next conquest(s). Through such behavior, Losers show their targets that they’re capable of doing the same thing to them. Losers generally prefer flings and short-term affairs, which provide constant new thrills.
Anything above this number points to not just probable, but certain harm.
Carver begins by defining “the Loser”: “‘The Loser’ is a type of partner that creates much social, emotional and psychological damage in a relationship…
They say you’re perfect and flawless, but they hone in on your insecurities. Through therapy, I learned about sociopaths and their relationship cycle of idealization and devaluation, and it just clicked. They’re charming, but not over the top—they’re cute, innocent.
It went from idolization to constant criticism, minimization, lies, threats. I went from being the most happy, cheerful person in the world and within span of three months, was transformed into an insecure, fearful, truly crazy-feeling person. The one thing to pay attention to is the flattery and the instant connection that they manufacture with you.
Domestic Shelters.org: JM: It was my first relationship [after coming out]. You meet this person who is identical to you in every single way. They’ve spent their lives learning how to mimic human emotions.
He began with criticism, went on to name-calling and moved on to physical violence and (probably) murder. “The Loser,” Carver notes, “has very shallow emotions and connections with others.
It’s very important to get away from a Loser at the slightest hint of violence, including verbal aggression, since abuse usually increases in frequency and severity over time. One of the things that might attract you to the Loser is how quickly he or she says ‘I Love You’ or wants to marry or commit to you.
The goal is to make you feel inferior and drive down your self-esteem so you rely more and more on them.
Don’t focus too much on the label—whether they’re a garden-variety jerk, an abuser or a psychopath, you’re not in a good relationship if these red flags apply to them. DS.org: JM: I know it’s not possible in a lot of abusive situations, but there has to be no contact [with the psychopath].